Saying ‘ouch’ during a row can stop you from fighting

If there’s one word that could make an argument stop, you’d assume it was sorry, right?

Apologising would seem like the obvious way to bring a conflict to an end. But, according to relationship expert

Run wrote an article for the Mail, exploring some of the ways in which couples can learn to argue better, and it’s a fascinating read.

Run explains that of course, there’s nothing wrong with apologising, but it’s not the most practical way to stop the conflict. Instead, if you’re trying to get the argument over and done with, you should be saying, ‘ouch’.

During an argument, we can lose sight of the other person’s feelings. Sometimes we find ourselves saying deliberately hurtful things just because we want to get a reaction out of them. During this process, we forget that the person we’re fighting with has feelings

If, during the argument, you say ouch (or similar) it’s a way of communicating to your partner that their words are hurting you. Usually, the realisation that actual emotional pain is being caused will be enough to snap you both out of your fight.

Run explains that this process takes the other partner out of ‘attack’ mode.

He also shared other gems of wisdom about how to have a productive argument in a relationship, explaining that couples should avoid using the word ‘never’ – particularly in the context of ‘you never do

Another useful tip that Run shared, which many of us are probably guilty of, is playing the victim. Run explains that we must take responsibility for ourselves within any relationship issues, saying:

‘You can say: ‘This is a topic I’m sensitive about’, but if your sensitivity stops your partner saying how they really feel, that’s not fair. You don’t want the person you love to tread on eggshells around you. You want them to be themselves.’