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6 things people still get wrong about sex work The thing about working in a taboo field is that people think we’re more secret than a secret cult doing secret things on Secret Day. Actually, we’re quite happy to tell you about ourselves – it’s just that some people refuse to listen. They’re more convinced by what they read in tabloids and terribly edited documentaries than by what’s right in front of them. So here I am to break a few of those misconceptions. Take a seat, sit back, and drink the cool-aid. A plague on both your houses Sex workers have been using contraception for as long as contraception has been around – whether that was crocodile dung or a laced up re-useable piece of sheep’s intestine. I promise you that sex workers are the last people who want to get an STI, so why are you all so convinced we’re riddled? We know what to look for when it comes to warts, cold sores, rashes and bumps because it’s our job. Do you? Believe me, everything had something on the end of it; every time. There are some daytime chat show guests who could learn a lot from sex workers. I – unlike your average civilian – always made sure I had a range of styles and sizes. One must be prepared for both ends of the spectrum; from the largest to the more snug. There was no scrimping on quality either – I made sure my condoms were made out of recycled tractor tyres. The interview process To be an independent sex worker in 2015, you have to know more about search engine optimisation than how to suck a golf ball through a hosepipe. It’s all about presence. Don’t believe me? Search for ‘escort’ and see how many come up. We spend more time trying to get on top of Google than we do getting on top of our clients. But that’s all you need – a website, a profile, some pictures… et voila! No interview, no seedy process, and no back room casting couch. We’re really good at sex I’m fairly sure that after seven years, my sexual skills are just the same as when I started. You poke a penis in a vagina and let the magic happen – there’s not much more to it than that. What is better sex? If I cry a bit more loudly, and say your penis is bigger? What about if I breath in a sexy way, or run my nails down your back? Is that better sex? It all sounds a bit pretend. (It is, that’s why I charged extra for a ‘Porn Star Experience’) The only thing I’m better at now is communicating. I can tell you what I want, how I want it, and I’m ready to listen to you do the same. I think the only reason why people think I’m any better at sex is because I must be a bit more open-minded. After all, I’ve been there done that. Right? Wrong. I mean, I have been there and done that but it doesn’t mean I want it in a partner. Take heed, I’m still a Judgey face when it comes to having sex IRL. We bitch about our jobs – just like you ‘Did you enjoy it?’ they ask. ‘Mostly, yes.’ ‘What about when you didn’t?’ they lean in, with a sympathetic look that tells me they’re not prepared for me to bitch about how much I hated hoovering everyday. Here’s the thing – everyone complains about their job, every goddamn one of us. But we’re given the ‘Happy Hooker’ tag – we have to keep saying ‘I enjoyed my job! I enjoyed my job!’ like a repetitive and completely unbelievable parrot. The fact is, it wasn’t great 100% of the time but people want to jump to the conclusion that meant violence and danger – a conclusion which only stigmatises sex workers more and puts them into further danger. But the things that I didn’t like about my job were time wasters who never turned up, having to clean my flat every day, and being unsure about the legality in the current framework of the law. And sometimes clients do turn out to be frustrating and rude. However, I could stop the appointment and tell them to leave. All in all, it was still a lot better than other jobs I’ve had where I prayed for the bus to crash so I could pull a five-month sickie. But yes, we do moan about our jobs; just not in the way you might expect. We must love sex It’s ok, I can take it or leave it. Turns out, as more and more of my clients wanted domination, I did just have to leave it, which was a bit of a shame. But it’s not like I was rampant. It wasn’t my be all and end all. I think this is the thing that really confused men – or at least the ones who used to call and tell me they had no money, but were willing to offer me a freebie. They’ve forgotten the thing we enjoy most about sex work isn’t the sex, it’s the money. It’s the money, and the freedom, and the travel, and the convenience. It’s being our boss. It’s knowing no matter where we go or what we do, we can always make money. That’s some powerful knowledge right It’s. The. Money. The sex and the customers are not our priority. Hate to break it to you. No one wants to date a sex worker Maybe I don’t want to date someone who wont date a sex worker. Maybe that kind of judgmental bulls doesn’t have a place in our society anymore because sex is not a relationship, and vice versa. It’s not a statement about the job. Not at all. It says ‘I don’t want to sleep with a woman who has slept with more men than I’m comfortable with’ – and that kind of thinking has no place in my life. Yes, I had fulfilling relationships when I was working. Loads of us do. There, it’s on the internet now so you can stop asking.

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