I'm melting!!
Holy shit it's hot.
And humid.
Thunder is rolling off in the distance, I can hear another storm heading my way, but I'm sitting on my porch, listening to music, anyway.
What a day, folks....
I stopped by the Ex-Husband's house, today, to see if everything was ok.
He's been home for 2 weeks and the kids have all been taking turns taking care of him.
His house is not a good scene.
Gross
I immediately set out to cleaning the kitchen, and lecturing the entire time.
There is messy..... And, then there is filth.
This was filth.
"How can you live like this? Look at this fridge!! This is disgusting. There is dirt in here."
"I'm getting a new fridge. This one is bad, it's got to go."
"Your dad can't live like this."
"This is how it looked even before the stroke. Ma, you should have seen this place. I've taken out so much junk. You wouldn't believe it."
And, I just looked around, disgusted.
This was years of grime, not just 5 weeks.
"[Chuckles], how could you let this go? You don't live this way! You're cleaner than I am."
"I know, I know.... I just don't know what to do."
His stroke was talking, he really didn't know what to do.
"Well, I'm going to start cleaning, and you're going to start cleaning too. You can't live like this."
"Ok. Where should I start."
"Why don't you grab the vacuum, and start vacuuming."
It was one chore I knew he could do without assistance. He plugged it in, finally managed to find the button to get it going, and started to vacuum. About 20 minutes in, he'd gotten the living room, the dining room, this kitchen, a portion of the bathroom.....
"You ready to move on to the next chore?"
He was on his second cycle of rooms, and I'd found the glass cleaner, so I decided to let him do some windows.
"Yah. I think this will do."
Handing him the paper towels, I told him to grab a handful of squares and I would spray down the door wall.
He could wipe it down.
So, I did.
While I washed up his dishes, he had wiped down the sliding door, moved on to the side windows, and started wiping down the freezer door.
It was almost like his old instincts were kicking in....
I'm a pretty clean housekeeper, but he was even more so, back in the day.
"Maybe I should vacuum. It's been a while since I vacuumed."
"Ok, grab the vacuum."
The Oldest Son was about to protest, but I waved my hand in dismissal, and said....
"It keeps him busy."
Once again grabbing the vacuum, he pulled it out, and this time managed to turn it on without struggle.
When I say it is hot today, I'm not exaggerating....
I'm pretty sure I could see those cartoon heat lines radiating off my body at this point.
I was a sweaty mess by the time I was done there. I had pulled out the mop and wiped down the years of grime that had accumulated in the corners of the cabinets and under the refrigerator and stove.
If I'd been a TikToker - I'd made cash today with a cleaning video!
We sat outside for a good half hour, and I'd planned on mopping a second time, but the humidity was keeping the floor from drying, and I gave up.
"It's almost 3 o'clock. I think I'm going to go. That floor isn't drying."
The Ex-Husband stood up, and went to walk me to the end of the porch.
"Thank you for stopping in. I really appreciate it, and everything you did. Do you need money?"
"No, I'm good."
He had never paid me child support, but our agreement was always, when I needed money, I would tell him. And he would give it to me.
"Ok. Thank you for stopping in. I really appreciate everything you've done for me. Do you need any money?"
The stroke was talking again. He didn't remember asking me.
"No, I'm good. I did this because you need my help, and I'm a good human being. You remember that, sometimes we do stuff because it's the right thing to do. You be a good human being, too."
His face wrinkled up to cry, and I felt bad.
The stroke damaged that part of his brain that controls emotion....
He hasn't always been very nice to me, especially after the divorce, and I'm certain he still remembers some of it.
"Ok, I'm going to go. I'll probably stop in next weekend, see how you're doing, see if you need more snacks. Clean some more."
"Ok. I'll see you next weekend."
"Bye Ma. Thanks, love you."
I didn't look back, just hopped in my car and left.
I think if I had, I would have cried.
Being a good human being.....
Is hard.
And, the way my life is going right now, I just don't know where I'm going to end up.
There are times when I just want to pull out a hobo stick, grab a can of beans, and stow away off into the distance somewhere....
Right now, though....
Right now I'm sweating my ass off, swinging in my egg chair, getting eaten alive by bugs.
Fleetwood Mac is singing "Sentimental Lady' to me...
And it's a peaceful Saturday night.
Happy Saturday!
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20 comments
You are a Very good human being and you are so right that being so can be very hard at times. A lot of people fail to understand how much strokes can mess up the memory and memories of their victims and take the lapses personally or feel the need to correct every one of them.
You are a good parent to teach your children how to cope well but that has been obvious since I first started following your blog posts.
Sending you big caring hugs just because you are a person I am honored to have the chance to "meet".
That is so kind, thank you!
You didn’t just clean grime—you reclaimed a little humanity in the middle of a scorching day. It’s not easy to be a good human being, especially when the past is messy, too. But you showed up. That matters. And I hope that breeze found you swinging in that egg chair, just long enough to feel your own worth.
Those are wise words... Thank you!
Hot and humid? That’s summer in Japan.
It was nice of you to help with cleaning.
I just don't do well in the heat. Once I start feeling overheated I start feeling sick.
You're awesome.
Thank you. I don't always feel all that awesome.
@secret_lade Caring for someone that you owe nothing to is awesome.
@secret_lade I know the feeling of being told I am awesome and not feeling that way. Funny how the ones who truly are caring and awesome often do not feel so. Maybe that is because we do it from the sense of who we are rather than for the show of it.
Hope today, Sunday is a better day for you
It has been so far.
Now that was one cleaning blitz.
There's a heatwave here too.
It is terribly humid here, too. I have never been so thankful for an air conditioner, I swear.
Are his gfs around? They should clean for him. Or maybe, they are there for “do you need money”. You are a good person
I asked my oldest son that very same thing!! I was like, why isn't anyone cleaning??? I was pissed. One has apparently had knee surgery and can't get around very well and the other is apparently useless. I got on all 3 kids yesterday and demanded they start cleaning. I don't know how bad it really was, but they all said it was better than it was.
You know in your older posts, like from years ago you had a bit of a mean streak in your postings. I have noticed a change in what you write.
Is that good or bad? Lately I've only been venting my thoughts and feelings.... My creativity is buried beneath emotion.
@secret_lade I think it is a good thing. While your stories can be fun and entertaining I'm sure many of your followers really care about how you are doing. I think your harder edge from before may have been the stress of work and living in an apartment close to the smoking lady. Even thought you are having stress at your current job and are going through family changes I think you are in a better place. You have a nice peaceful place to live where you look like you can decompress . Just from what you post it seems like things are looking up for you.
Interesting
Good to know.
There have been many times I wanted to grab the hobo stick. I did it once, many years ago. Not actually the hobo stick but essentially I did. Life can be over whelming sometime. You just have to kick life in the ass.
I think my foot is sore from kicking..... Lately, I've been feeling like giving up.
My urge to do my best, and be a good human being just seems to win out, though.
@secret_lade Keep moving forward.
you're a good person
Thank you
Again Lade, you should be sainted.
I hear ya tho, the heat was close to 111 in Sin City and as I was driving home from the office I heard Rob Thomas sing, "Man it's a hot one, like seven inches from the midday sun". I should start using the A/C in the truck but nah... Where's the fun in that.
Enjoy your evening, I'm going to dip in the pool later. Ya know when it's 90 something at 10 pm. Gotta love the desert.
I'm envious of your pool! I could totally use a dip in a pool tonight... It's so frigging hot and humid tonight.
This made my heart smile.
Sometimes it’s so difficult to be a good human, but I believe we should try
I haven't always been a good human being.... But I've really been trying to mend my ways. Not your normal midlife crisis. LOL