Lol. Always with the "About Me" stuff. Do the people who run these things understand how hard it is to sum up a human life in a couple of paragraphs? On the other hand, how else are we supposed to see if we have anything in common? I guess this is better than the 50 bajillion multiple choice questions they ask. Okay, here goes. I'm a guy. I'd rather you not be. I understand that there are nice guys out there (I'm one of them), but I'm kinda set on a Lady. I'll let you know if that changes (but don't hold your breath). I'm ... well ... a bit odd. In a nice way, I guarantee you, but odd. So if you're looking for a straight arrow, corporate guy heavily invested in status climbing, you might want to check elsewhere. I have a twisted sense of humor although I hesitate to mention this for since it seems that 80% of the people in cyberland feel their humor is "edgy". Quick test - do you think the ole' joke about he difference between truck full of babies vs. truck full of bowling balls is funny? If a movie or game had "high velocity, explosive badgers", would that attract or repulse you? Just check yourself. What else would someone like to know about me ... I'm a pretty happy guy. I am a very spiritual soul. Although I have strong beliefs, I certainly don't force them on others and though I love to chat about them, I know when to shutup. I often don't know when to shutup other times. I like to talk about philosphy and other things.

My Ideal Person Well, you know a little teensy bit about me. What about you, you may ask? I've already mentioned I'm looking for a Lady (or if you prefer, woman, girl, gurl, grrrl or whichever of the many labels are currently in vogue). You need to be smart. If you spend more time saying "What just happened?" than "Ha ha, you're a fool!", you're in the wrong ad (see Large boxy guy seeks bimbo for sex and lite secretarial work). You need to have seriously entertained notions of taking over the world. You don't need a business plan or anything, but a simple analysis of the steps to world domination will come in handy. Oh, and no sense of humor. I can't stress this enough. I want an automaton who doesn't think I'm funny. Waaaaay too many ads seem to need this "sense of humor", and I'm not falling for it. Did I mention I can be sarcastic? Hmm. What else. It would probably help if you were often described as "twisted" by one or more of your friends (contortionists gleefully accepted). Oh, right, sex. Got so carried away I almost forgot much of the reason we're here. I like sex. I like people. I like sex with people I like. I've heard sex with strangers can be good, but I'm kinda stuck on at least getting to know you first. I'm imaginative and energetic. Oh yeah. A tongue. You need a tongue. Trust me, I've tried it with the tongueless and the relationship just didn't work. You might think it would be fun, but it is more work than I thought. Kinda like vacuming without an attachment if you catch my drift. Anyways, give me a shout and let's see if we have enough common ground to start a brush fire.